2016 introduced me to my new life: mothering two small humans + running my yoga business and all I can say is whoa, it's a jungle out there!
Living with two high energy boys and wild ambition that just won't quit, meant I probably bit off more than I could chew and had way-too-high-expectations of myself, my business and my parenting.
Lesson 1. Only plant the seeds you have capacity to harvest. Thanking my new friend Rebecca Funk for this gem of wisdom she shared in our recent conversation where we talked about self care in cycles and seasons.
Lesson 2. In your first year with 2 children, you may not live up to your parenting ideals, in fact, it may be your 'worst' year of parenting, and that's OK! This one came as a word of wisdom from my dear friend, Katie Manitsas, who was also my birth doula and she shared this with me the week Yagan was born. Eighteen months on, I know exactly what she meant. This year my 4 year old spent more time in front of the TV than I would like and my 1 year old spent more time running errands with me than I would have liked, and... I lost my temper more than I would like.
I love being a parent and part of me values the work of raising children so much that I sometimes imagine I should be a stay-at-home mum. I have this crazy idea that I would be a 'better' person if I threw my work away and chose to live the slow life, giving myself full-time to my kids; undertaking endless crafty play time, Waldorf inspired bread-baking perfection and open-ended outdoor adventures. This vision is unattainable and unrealistic and it has slowly gnawed away at me this year. In reality, I need a break from the kids, I need something that’s just for me, I get tired of them (yes, I did just write that) and... I LOVE my job!
Because I don't work 9-5 and my children are still young, the boundaries between work and parenting are really blurry, (right now it's 9pm and my 4 yr old wont sleep, so I'm letting him lay on the home office floor and rip up tape while frequently responding to his over-tired, lucid musings on life, while I write to you). Which brings me to...
Lesson 3... I need to give myself a break from the internal dialogue that cuts me down and tells me I'm not good enough because I'm not a full-time parent.
2016 was a huge year for many people I know. For me my highlights were launching Women’s Yoga Circle, Radical Self Care Project, teaching on the Yoga Teacher Training at Adore Yoga and seeing my private client base explode! I also certified in Aromatherapy massage and have begun to incorporate essential oils more into my life, which is bringing me so much joy and clarity. I have collaborated with SO MANY inspiring people, including a few of my teachers, many of whom I will work with in 2017.
Facing 2017 I am consolidating; feeling in to rhythm and routine more than ever, clearing a bit more space and anchoring in to SIMPLICITY and CONTENTMENT. Which is not to say boring or settling... not at all, just tending to my inner world and our home-life, so I can buzz about and create and make things happen from a place of deep grounded-ness.